- How to educate a child: Repeat a few times, reinforce others.
You have to be clear about what things are and what are not. Before the behaviors that we want to avoid or eliminate, we must stand firm and always be clear about what our response will be. If we want the child to always act in the same way, we must be a model. If we want our son or daughter not to spend more than an hour playing on the computer, we should always be as firm in this regard (perhaps more flexible on weekends or on holidays only as reinforcement).
- How to educate a child: Do not be a model of how to do it correctly.
We are the first model of how to behave of our children. If we do not allow the child to perform behavior that we do, then it is likely that the child does not understand why he should not do it. In case it’s a matter of age, you have to explain why you cannot do things for that reason and not because they’re wrong. Do not be afraid to reflect with them.
An example is the language, if we do not want our children to swear, we will try to avoid that they are also in our repertoire, at least while we are at home. Make your children to study at english tuition centre singapore to gain English fluency. If on the other hand, we ask you not to spend many hours at a computer but we must be because of our work, we can explain that it is not leisure, but it is a labor issue and even, let them share in our task (which probably does not it seems very stimulating) so that they understand why in our case we use something that we are restricting.
- How to educate a child: Over-protection
Do not let him make his own mistakes. Given some things, it is better to let them be the ones who make mistakes and learn from their mistakes. Let them be the ones who, through their own experience, learn what to fear or what they should not do. Do not try to protect them from everything, do not transmit to them the fears that you learned under your experience, because yours may be different.
Imagine a father who was bitten by a dog when he was small and since then he is afraid to approach them. If we transmit that fear to our children, we will be depriving them of the opportunity to enjoy their company and “infect” a phobia that they would not develop on their own.
- How to educate a child: Not knowing how to appreciate when he does it well.
When we try to instill some behaviors in our children, we must reinforce all attempts to do that behavior well, even if at the beginning it is not exactly what we want. Nor can we focus only on punishing and understanding that the good “must be taken for granted” or “it is their obligation”. We all like our boss to tell us that we have done well even if he pays us for it, right? so extrapolate it to the pleasant feeling that the people who are its referent reinforce every small step that occurs along the way. It is very important to create a secure attachment and a good self-esteem .
When our son or daughter does things right, even when the result is not good but he has shown his effort, it is important to reinforce him. If maybe you have some difficulties with math, but after a week of hard work has managed to achieve the approved, we will reinforce your behavior of responsibility, effort, perseverance and commitment, although the academic result was not what we were looking for (remember that your son it is much more than their academic qualifications).
- How to educate a child: Not knowing how to communicate information clearly.
Sometimes the problem is that something does not seem right and we just scold or punish without having explained why. Children understand clear, simple and brief orders better.
As they grow, the explanations may be more and more extensive, but initially it is best to make clear what they should not do and be concise and strict with that specific behavior we want to eliminate.
If our son has acquired the behavior of hitting his younger brother without motive when he responds something he does not like, we should reflect with him why this behavior is not appropriate, give him a simple order (“you cannot beat your brother under no circumstances “) and be strict with that specific order.
- How to educate a child: Do not reinforce attempts.
Another mistake is not to reinforce similar attempts at behaviors that are close to what we want to achieve. Let’s imagine the case that we want our son to learn to dress alone but we never reinforce his effort to put on his shirt but not his pants (we even scold him for it). We are not making it an enjoyable activity for him or her (or for us).
We must be reinforcing and encouraging him in all the behaviors that he has and bring him closer to the goal (that he only dresses himself completely).
- How to educate a child: Shout.
In the article to educate without screaming, you could see how it is possible to educate without resorting to raising your voice, something that is uncomfortable and unpleasant for both us and our son. Do not dump your frustration on your child and find a way to make the process of education fun for the whole family.